i like how the deer in the back is like “Why the fuck aint she playin me no song?”
whatever bitch the flute is gay as fuck anyway
girl scout: hi how are yo-
me: thin mints
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somewhere in the United States right now is the first woman president. she is watching this unfold and she is making plans.
Go get ‘em, girl.
- Me: *withdrawing money from the atm*
- Girl Scouts posted up across the ATM: Wassup playa!!!
- Me: OH SHIT!!!
i remember in second grade i got a new purple sharpener and this girl who i was “friends” with asked me to have it and I was like ???? no my mom just bought this for me yesterday and she said “if you dont give me the sharpener we’re not friends anymore” and i just said “okay” and she was like “So you’re giving me the sharpener??” and i was like “why are you talking to me? we’re not friends” and i wish i was still as savage as i was back then
A little girl in my 4th grade class came up to me after recess and said, “I got married at recess!” and I said “Oh? I didn’t know anyone was ordained under the age of twelve.” and she asked me what ordained meant and I explained and then she said “Oh, well, no, my wife and I were married by the slide, but we’ll be happy together anyway.”
So apparently on school playgrounds, slides are already legalizing same-sex marriage.
they warned us it would be a slippery slope
me, drinking wine, listening to Lana del Rey, and spending $50 on Amazon lingerie: Aphrodite, this is for you girl.
tumblr flagged a post of a girl eating berries so fruit is for whores now reblog if youre a fruit eating whore
Hozier and Florence Welch are just pseudonyms Hades and Persephone have taken on after haven taken music lessons from Orpheus for a couple thousand years and deciding going into the music industry and gaining “fans” would be a modern equivalent form of the worship that previously sustained them thanks for coming to my ted talk
rawing people on couches is so hard yet most of my ideas involve that
DRAWING
I MEANT DRAWING PEOPLE ON COUCHES
whmost